Ice Cold Takes is a weekly humor column focused on what is trending around the NHL. The official column of Mr. 1,000.

That’s what we’re calling Alex Ovechkin. A few years back, it was still a bit of a hot take to say Ovi was going to catch Wayne Gretzky‘s total goals scored record. Given the goaltending in this era of hockey, the record was deemed untouchable.

Ovechkin is 34-years-old. Mentally, he sounds and acts like he’s in his mid-20’s, he is sitting at 40 goals on the season in early February and has 698 total. You’d be crazy to think he doesn’t have three to four more great seasons in him before tailoring off, which means Gretzky’s goal record is not only achievable, but there’s a very real possibility that Ovi finishes well over 900.

If Ovechkin can sustain this pace for a few more years and have similar career longevity to Jaromir Jagr, 1,000 is not out of reach. So I’m calling it now: Ovechkin scores 1,000 goals before he retires from the NHL at 45 years of age.

If you want more Ovi love, FanSided’s Mary Clarke breaks down Ovechkin’s recent feats in detail here. Enough talk about the NHL’s second best team. Let’s get to talking about the Boston Bruins.

The NHL’s best team

The Boston Bruins sit atop the NHL standings once again, and it seems that two weeks off did them some good. The last time I wrote about how well the Bruins were doing, they started dropping games like Gritty drops teenagers so before I say anything else to jinx this team, we’re going to move on.

This was just a quick brag, nothing else.

Connor

He’s on one-name level now, like Cher or Madonna. Connor did the thing he does again, and I’ll spare you from another full paragraph in this column of “We’re running out of things to say about Connor.” (Even though I just did that and this tweet also says it).

About a year ago, I said I was as good at not being a good hockey player as Connor is at being a great hockey player. Meaning if there was a spectrum of hockey and we started from neutral, I would be as far on the bad end as Connor is on the great end. What are some things you are as good at as Connor is at hockey?

I am as good at writing very confusing paragraphs as Connor is at hockey.

Hot seat: Jordan Binnington

Former Owen Sound Attack goaltender Jordan Binnington likely wasn’t too concerned when Justin Bieber challenged him to a shootout. At the time, the Biebs was an okay hockey player who could hold his own with some beer league guys. Well, at the time, the Biebs wasn’t training this hard.

If you live under a rock, Biebs will get 10 attempts to score a goal on Binnington. If he can get one by the Stanley Cup netminder, Binnington must donate $10,000 to a charity of Bieber’s choice (or vise versa if JB doesn’t score). I don’t care how anyone feels about Bieber, this is good for hockey.

The Toronto Maple Leafs

Who would have thought that in February, we’d be discussing whether or not the Toronto Maple Leafs will make the playoffs?

That’s all. I have nothing else to say, nor do you want to hear anything else about a middling team that isn’t doing anything special. Moving on to another middling team that isn’t doing anything special, the New Jersey Devils.

Miles Wood

It would be impossible to end this column without showing some love to Miles Wood, who did something Connor-like last night. Yeah, we’re going to use the words “amazing” and “Connor” interchangeably from here on out.

Incredible goal from a team that hasn’t seen much love lately. He’s miles ahead of most when it comes to skill. Wood be a travesty to leave him off the list (I’m so sorry).

Keep your head up.